Customer service on the 1st day of April

The 6 Spring Rules of Great and Astounding Customer Service

1). RETAIL: Always ask the customer if he or she has any money or credit cards immediately they walk into a store. The same on all websites. After all it’s the money that counts!

2). WEBSITES: On a website home page have an agreement to be clicked on before anyone can go further or onto other pages, agreeing that they do have the money to buy any product you may offer them and that they are definitely not “just browsing”

3). HOTELS: If a customer tells you it is cold in his or her hotel room hand them a “packing list” reminding them to bring clothes for all climates and temperatures “so you won’t be cold next time you stay with us”. Expect a thank you or smile and if not given ask if they understand English (or any other language the list may be offered in).

4).AUTOMOBILES: When a customer brings a car in for service and the car is making a rattling sound more similar to juggling cutlery in a kitchen tell them to leave the technical stuff to you and not mention such trivia as only you know what is a “good sound” and a “get ready to junk it , we’ve got some good deals on new cars this week” sound.

5). REAL ESTATE: When showing a house to a prospective buyer – don’t let them find fault with crumbling plaster, noisy plumbing or broken and missing floorboards. These are insults. You know full well such things are “typical features” that add “character” to a home of this style.
If they persist, say “I presume then, that you are not a SERIOUS buyer at this time”.

6). NEW PRODUCT: Got a new product? Best to tell your customer that not only can they not live without it they will fail and be spurned by all if they don’t have it and you know exactly the sort of person they are if they don’t buy.

It is possible that everything else you ever knew about Customer Service was wrong and that April is a great month to put these ideas into practice, to become a beacon of wisdom and new “techniques”